Lady Damorea's Corner
This is a small section of Merry Meet Temple's site that is set aside for Lady Damorea's musings, news, poetry, book reviews, and more.  She will try to add something each week.  Please check back as desired.

May 6, 2007
Our neighbor's new dog is a Rottweiler.  His name is Brutus, and he's very big puppy.  At 7 months of age, he's already about 3 inches taller, at the back, than my dog who is a Lab/Akita mix.  Of course, my dog is a true runt.  She is not the size that a Lab or Akita is supposed to be.  My dog is 11 years old, but still quite nimble and spry.  Brutus came into our world one day and immediately started doing what puppies do...chewing everything.  He took cans and bottles from our recycling bin.  He carried them into the yard and chewed on them until his heart was in need of something else.  He carried away a few of my planters, much to my dismay.  I took them back as soon as I could and told him "No!"  The firmer the better.  He got hold of one of my shoes and chewed on it.  My son took it away before any damage was done.  My sandal didn't fair as well.  We ended up buying a new pair.  Brutus also likes to chew on rocks, steps, or whatever else he could find including my internet cable...twice.  Fortunately, we already had extra cable on hand.  It took about an hour to make repairs.  We were not happy.  I kept reminding myself that Brutus is just a puppy...a very big puppy. 

Since he first came to our neighborhood, Brutus has learned to leave my flower pots alone.  He has also learned to leave my cats alone, since they do have their claws AND know how to use them.  Brutus has also learned not to enter my home, so I can now leave the doors open in the heat of the day without having to worry about my shoes.  Rottweilers are a breed that require attention and training to keep them happy.  I did the research so that I would better understand Brutus.  I taught him to sit, and he's learning to stay.  He loves to be brushed and petted.  He also loves attention.  He's a good dog; he's just young.  And...as the "Nox" elder stated on "Stargate SG-1", "The very young do not always do as they are told."

Lady Damorea

April 9, 2007

My "adopted" son, who isn't actually adopted but is mine just the same, call the other night.  I had gone to bed had but not yet fallen asleep when the phone rang.  He needed to talk, so we talked.  I always enjoy our chats, but on this night he needed a mama's love and reassurance.  His childhood was not good, in so many ways that I'll not go into now.  Let's just say that he was abused for many years, and it shows.  One of the biggest ways that it shows is that he doesn't know what to do with "nice".  For people who are abused, "nice" is that uneasy time between getting abused.  "Nice" is not real.  It is not to be trusted, ever.  "Nice" tells lies to abused people and so they learn not to trust "nice".  It doesn't matter whether "nice" is a person, an event, a thing, an animal...it just doesn't matter.  If it's "nice", it's not to be trusted.  "Nice" puts an uneasy knot in the stomach of an abused person because she or he just knows that the next beating is coming...it's there...just beyond the "nice". 

I grew up with abuse.  My abuse wasn't even close to what my son survived.  It was abuse just the same.  My first husband was the worst.  I left him after a beating that happened while my infant son screamed in the next room.  I also learned not to trust "nice".  It took me more than 10 years to even begin to trust "nice" and even then it was an uneasy trust. 

I've been away from abuse for 18 years now.  I trust "nice", and I help others learn to trust it too.  If you have been abused and find that you have a hard time with relationships, it could be that you don't know what to do with "nice" yet.  Give "nice" a chance and realize what the real problem is.  It's not the other person, and it's not you.  It's a trust issue that is based on logic.  It makes sense not to trust the "nice" times in an abusive relationship. 

One thing you can do is to give yourself permission to re-learn how to trust.  The reason is say "re-learn" is that babies are born knowing how to trust.  They have to because everything they need depends upon another person doing it for them.  Giving your Self permission to re-learn how to trust also gives permission to figure out what to do with "nice".

Brightest of Blessings,

Lady Damorea

December 5, 2006
I'm listening to a podcast called "deos Shadow".  Ever heard of it?  I find it very interesting.  The episode that I'm presently involved with is about Fairy Wings.  The argument being put across by Matt is that fairy wings should not be worn by those who talk to the media, thereby representing all pagans, at pagan pride days.  His reasoning is that if our "representative" dresses in a certain way then that is what outsiders will think paganism is about.  He also suggests that people who attend pagan pride days should check with the sponsoring organization to see if they have someone who is the designated representative.  He also states that fairy wings are fine, in the right venues and under the right circumstances.  His concern is that people will misunderstand what paganism is about if the person is dressed with fantasy items, including wings.  He states, "If you dress like a vampire, people are going to think paganism is identical to vampires."  It's a matter of how paganism is being represented to those who are not familiar with paganism as a religion.  He also states that those who are going to represent a group of people should do their best to accurately represent that group rather than just representing your Self.

My job with Merry Meet Temple is a public relations position.  If there are any interviews to be done, they are done by me.  I have to see to it that I represent our philosophy, beliefs, and membership in an appropriate manner.  Merry Meet Temple is not gothic, but I'm sure we will have gothic members.  We will also have many other members who express themselves with fairy wings, elf ears, beads & bangles, and more.  As the representative of Merry Meet Temple, I cannot express my Self as completely as I would like when I am attempting to represent the group of individuals who make of the membership of the Temple.  Not that I would anyway.  I really don't think that giving an interview while skyclad is appropriate, but I do enjoy nudity on occasion.  I also cannot see myself giving an interview while in bed as John Lennon and Yoko Ono did that one time.  Neither of these would properly represent the members of the Temple in the best light.  The idea behind a public relations position is to provide an accurate and informed representation of the group as a whole.  Would wearing fairy wings do that?  There are too many who do not wear fairy wings, and who never would.  So, in my humble opinion, no, it's not a fair representation of the group as a whole.  How should a pagan dress while giving an interview?  I love my long skirts and hair.  I don't wear make-up, usually.  And, I'm overweight.  These things also do not represent the group as a whole.  However, these things do not give an outside the impression that the Temple is only about fairies or that all members wear fairy wings.  As with every representative of a group, I will do my best to accurately represent the group while leaving out my own thoughts and ideas that are not held by the group as a whole.  This is not easily done.  If you are at a gathering that has a public relations person, let that person do her/his job.  You don't need to be rude if asked for an interview, but do let the interviewer know what the public relations person name is, and where that person can be located.  After all, any misinformation is the "fault" of the PR person, not the member who gave an interview without consideration of others. 

This is my opinion.  If you would like to e-mail a rebuttal, please contact me, Lady Damorea.